(I also posted this in the Creative Nonfiction subreddit)
Last year I wrote a CNF essay that explored the idea of child abuse, especially by parents and siblings. It is a memory type piece and a kind of cultural criticism; Above all, it is a twisted essay, interspersed with sections on John Lennon and his abusive behavior.
To be clear, the essay is about me and my relationship with my family, as well as my difficulties listening to John Lennon’s work, considering all the horrible things he did. It’s about accepting the terrible things that people have done, while still admiring all the good things they did.
There is a great focus on forgiveness and change (my family is no longer as it was when I was a child; now we have a pretty good relationship and we get along very well). I explore this in rehearsal and feel that it is an important driving force.
All that said, one of my teachers wants me to apply this summer at a writers institute and use this essay to apply. It is probably one of my strongest pieces of writing. However, I am really concerned about sending you this essay. I am concerned about exposing my family in a way that they really don’t deserve, especially given all the changes they have implemented in their lives. I thought I could change their names and some key details so that anyone who reads it would not know, but would probably have to post it under a pseudonym. The institute, from what I understand, focuses on working on a specific piece and preparing it for publication. I am really concerned about doing that with this piece.
Does anyone else deal with extreme guilt while writing about family or other loved ones in a less than positive light? How do you deal with this? Any advice on what I should do?
(I also posted this in the Creative Nonfiction subreddit)
Last year I wrote a CNF essay that explored the idea of child abuse, especially by parents and siblings. It is a memory type piece and a kind of cultural criticism; Above all, it is a twisted essay, interspersed with sections on John Lennon and his abusive behavior.
To be clear, the essay is about me and my relationship with my family, as well as my difficulties listening to John Lennon’s work, considering all the horrible things he did. It’s about accepting the terrible things that people have done, while still admiring all the good things they did.
There is a great focus on forgiveness and change (my family is no longer as it was when I was a child; now we have a pretty good relationship and we get along very well). I explore this in rehearsal and feel that it is an important driving force.
All that said, one of my teachers wants me to apply this summer at a writers institute and use this essay to apply. It is probably one of my strongest pieces of writing. However, I am really concerned about sending you this essay. I am concerned about exposing my family in a way that they really don’t deserve, especially given all the changes they have implemented in their lives. I thought I could change their names and some key details so that anyone who reads it would not know, but would probably have to post it under a pseudonym. The institute, from what I understand, focuses on working on a specific piece and preparing it for publication. I am really concerned about doing that with this piece.
Does anyone else deal with extreme guilt while writing about family or other loved ones in a less than positive light? How do you deal with this? Any advice on what I should do?
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